A Nostalgic Show

 The very first night of October was nothing but cold and drizzling rain, but the crowd that had amassed outside the PNC Arena in Raleigh didn’t seem to mind. Throughout the sea of brightly dyed hair and punky clothing, you could hear a hum of excitement as we waited for the doors to open and allow us to get settled in our seats and wait eagerly for just a while longer.  Most of the crowd had grown up listening to the music that we were about to hear, and the combined anticipation of the thousands of concert attendees was so thick it was suffocating.

            I stood in the VIP line with my father, excitedly chatting with him about the songs I recognized from the setlist and telling him which songs I thought he’d like. Dad, while unfamiliar with the singer, was enthusiastic and matched my excitement, happy to spend the time with me and do something new and fun. This was my second concert ever, the first one having been Green Day five years before. I had high hopes for this concert, since I’d been listening to his music since I was 13 years old.

***

            Who was this crowd of young scene kids and their tired parents waiting for? None other than Brendon Urie, better known as Panic! At The Disco.  

            If you paid even a smidgeon of attention to popular music back in the early 2000’s and through the 2010’s, you’ve heard of P!ATD. Forming in 2004, the band quickly rose to fame with their second single “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” skyrocketing their first album to triple platinum. Over the years, most of the original band members have left to pursue other work. Urie was the only one who stayed, keeping the P!ATD name and fame to this day.

            Urie has outlasted his other band members, due in part to his undeniable charisma and passion for his music. He was the main singer and wrote several of the band’s hit songs such as “Nine in the Afternoon” and “I Write Sins Not Tragedies,” meaning that the songs that have been beloved since their release are made almost entirely of Urie’s influence. Even if he’s the only member left, it was his contribution and voice that made the impact on the world, allowing him to keep going completely unimpeded by the loss of the others.

***

            Finally, the doors were flung open, and people started pouring into the stadium. Dad and I went through the metal detectors after just a few minutes, and then fought our way through the crowd looking for our suite. The company Dad worked for had bought out one of the nicest ones, dead center with an unobstructed view of the stage.

            The rest of the group wandered in over the course of the next five minutes, and I quickly made fast friends with the other 17-22-year-olds. We found our way to our seats, Dad sitting to my right and my new friends to my left. When the time hit five minutes to 8 pm, the display screens suddenly showed a countdown and the energy in the room increased tenfold as everyone started to watch the seconds tick by with bated breath. “Five…Four…Three…Two…One!” echoed through the auditorium when the timer finally ran out, and the announcement of the opening acts was rendered almost inaudible as the crowd burst out in cheers.

***

            Before any good concert comes a good opener, and this one stayed true to form. Both performers were passionate as they sang, one new to the scene and one familiar. They both performed for about 30 minutes, hyping up the crowd, before clearing the stage and giving way to the main act.

For a split second, the arena went dark and almost completely silent, save for the slight noise of excited whispers. The next moment, the first few chords of one of Brendon Urie’s newer hit songs, “Say Amen (Saturday Night)” kicked in at the same time as a bright spotlight shot down to the stage, revealing Urie standing there with his arms out and a massive grin on his face. The crowd exploded in cheers, nearly rendering the music an afterthought, as Urie started to move around the stage and began to sing. Throughout his performance, the smile never left his face and his energy never wavered. He didn’t seem to tire at all, even though the effort and passion he put into his show was enough to exhaust anyone else. From where I was sitting he should have been no more than a speck on the stage, but he seemed to be the only visible thing in the room. His black dress coat was edged with gold and accentuated every move he made, and the light hit him in just the right way for his black shoes and pants not to disappear into the stage.

Once the first song was over, he rolled right into the next without even pausing to take a breath, and the delighted singing along followed him straight through without pause. The people around me were screaming in excitement, losing their voices almost instantly and looking like they were about to go flying out of their seats. To my right, my dad was smiling and bobbing his head along to the music, the only thing stopping him from singing along being that he didn’t know the words. He said later his favorite was “Emperor’s New Clothes,” which Urie had given a much deeper, darker and hard rock-styled twist with gravel in his voice and bright flaming skulls in the lighting.

A few popular songs later and Brendon Urie finally paused for a moment, but only to introduce his new album, Viva Las Vengeance, and rip off his black coat in favor of just his white undershirt. I hadn’t heard these new songs before; I’d been purposefully avoiding it so that the first time I heard them could be live right then and there. The album holds a lot of emotional weight for Urie, being based on looking back at who he was at the start of his career and how much he’s changed, and the passion he holds for his music was clear throughout his performance.

Each song was accompanied by light shows matching the lyrics. Some that I took particular note of were “Star Spangled Banger,” being coated in the American flag and massive singalong text along the back during the chorus, which prompted the crowd to yell along with passion, and “God Killed Rock and Roll” having the title of the song projected in flaming letters, fog machines to show off the laser lights, and pyrotechnics that were so intense that I could feel the heat from my seat. The lightshows added so much emotion to the performance, telling us the emotions, thoughts and ideas that went into each one. Urie clearly had a lot of investment in these songs, hitting some incredibly high notes as he threw his soul into the performance, darting around the stage and nearly falling over with the intensity of his songs.

Once the new album finished, one of Urie’s biggest hits was up next, the song “Girls/Girls/Boys” from 2013. The song is from before same-sex marriage was legalized and was seen as an LGBTQ+ anthem from the moment it was released. Many of Urie’s LGBTQ+ fans hold this song in high regard, seeing it as a timeless favorite full of emotion. For many people, this was one of the first songs they’d ever heard that was openly accepting of relationships outside of the heterosexual norms, and some had heard this before they’d figured out their own sexualities. Hearing this song before you know it’s for you invokes an almost indescribable feeling. It makes your chest feel like it’s about to burst, a strange combination of joy, excitement and something that you can only identify as acceptance and pride when you look back at the experience. When something makes you feel that strongly, seeing and hearing it in person becomes that much more meaningful as it rekindles the deep and overwhelming feelings from before.

The arena was full of rainbow beams and the background became a melting rainbow as the song seemed to pour from the walls as the crowd filled with a unique pride and belted out the words with vigor. Urie himself is pansexual and stood on stage with an air of unwavering confidence as he sang his heart out, his voice blending with the audience as he twirled around the stage, one hand on the microphone and the other pumping in the air.

 I think an equivalent event could only ever occur at a Pride parade, and every second of it was etched into my brain with the intensity of rainbow-colored flames.

It was past midnight at this point, and the concert was reaching its end, but there was one more song that no P!ATD concert could leave out. Even if you don’t think you’ve heard anything of Urie’s, you’ve almost certainly heard “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” as it’s easily been P!ATD’s most notable song from their whole 17-year run and is still one of their most-played songs today.

The funny thing is, the song is so well known that Urie barely had to sing at all. He sang the opening, and then let the audience take over for the first rendition of the chorus. However, we all kind of took over the song and ended up singing the whole thing with Urie chiming in here and there, but the only real sound from stage was the band playing the instrumentals. I found that to be a fascinating scene, watching the artist watch the audience take over with a delighted grin and finally taking a sip of water before jumping right back into dancing, this time to the melody of the audience’s voices. Throughout the 3-minute song, the audience joined the performance and became more than just observers. Most concerts don’t have that type of moment, making this one feel even more special.

***

Shortly after that incredible experience, the concert came to a close. I was still buzzing with excitement and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as we started moving back to our car. My dad enjoyed the concert way more than he was expecting to, since a lot of the songs leaned farther into the rock aspect of pop-rock. Dad and I excitedly chatted the whole way back to the car and then the drive back to the hotel, exchanging our feelings on the songs, our favorite moments and whatever else came to mind.

Panic! At The Disco is a band that, while popular with the younger generation, can catch the interest of all generations if they take a moment to listen. The genre is somewhere between pop music, rock and roll, punk and alternative. Depending on what song you choose to listen to, you’ll get different concentrations of each genre so as long as you enjoy any of the listed genres you’re certain to find at least a few songs you’ll love.

Brendon Urie has an intense stage presence that makes him seem to fill the room by himself. His performances are memorable and entertaining and his joy for life and his music is infectious, engaging you in the lyrics and filling you with emotion. It’s an experience like no other, standing out as something special among other live musical performances. If you find yourself given the opportunity to go to one of his concerts, I’d recommend you take it. It’ll be something you remember for the rest of your life.